


I'll Protect You

by toomanyfandomssomanyfeels



Category: Amazingphil - Fandom, Dan Howell - Fandom, Danisnotonfire - Fandom, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Phil Lester - Fandom, dan and phil
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Im sorry about this, M/M, One Shot, but it isnt detailed per se, subtle mentions of self harm and some abuse, trigger warnish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:56:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3233669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toomanyfandomssomanyfeels/pseuds/toomanyfandomssomanyfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan needed someone to save him, and Phil wanted to be that someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Protect You

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to anyone who reads my shit fanfictions. I wouldn't even post them if it weren't for my best friend. So leaving kudos and comments and reading it in general means a lot. (Also, soz if there are any mistakes. It's only my best friend and I that read these.)

_ “NO SON OF MINE IS GOING TO COME HOME AND TELL ME HE’S INTO DICK UP HIS ASS!” Dan’s father yelled. _

_Dan cringed. His mother just sat at the table, horrified by the information that had been given to her moments before. Dan couldn’t look up at his parents._

_His father raised a hand, and Dan could see the shadow. Suddenly, the hand came in contact with his cheek. He didn’t know what was happening. But he cupped his cheek out of pain._

_“I still like girls, too!” He tried to explain for the eighth time._

_The hand came back and hit his other cheek, “there is no liking girls_ and _boys. You’re either a faggot. Or you’re not.”_

_The words hit him harder than his father did. They left Dan breathless, paralyzed on the floor where he had fallen due to the force of the punches. He hadn’t even noticed he was crying. Not until he reached up to touch the jaw that was most likely broken and felt his wet skin from his salty tears._

_“You’re a disgrace to this family.” His father spat the words at him. “Get out of my sight. I don’t want to look at you right now.”_

_Dan peeled himself off of the floor, looking to his mother with eyes that still had a glimpse of hope. But his mother just looked away, unable to look at her son the same. He made his way up the stairs. Where his eight year old brother stood. He looked up at him, tears spilling out of his eyes._

_Dan managed a smile, despite the pain coursing through every part of his body. “Why are you crying?” He brushed away a tear off of his brother’s cheek._

_“Why is Dad hurting you?” He sobbed, latching onto his older brother._

_Dan winced in pain, but hugged his brother back. “Come with me.”_

_He led him to his room. “I don’t expect you to understand, since you’re younger. But that’s alright. I’m something called bisexual. It means that I like both girls and boys. And Dad doesn’t like that. He doesn’t think that it’s alright for me to like boys. But there is nothing wrong with it. He just doesn’t understand.”_

_He let a finger wipe away some more tears that were traveling down his sibling’s cheeks, staring at him with hurt in his eyes. “I’m okay. I promise. Just don’t tell Dad or Mum about our talk, alright? Now go to your room before you get in trouble.”_

_His brother nodded, hugging him before running off to his room. Dan finally let himself cry again. He grabbed his laptop off of his desk and logged onto Skype, messaging Phil. Phil was his boyfriend. And basically his only friend. Through the tears that blurred his sight, he managed to type a message that explained the situation. Phil vowed to come save him one day. And Dan just smiled weakly at the words glowing on his screen._

__  
  


_It had been weeks, months even, since he told his parents about his sexuality. His mother hadn’t spoken to him, or even really looked at him. His father abused him daily. Called him things like faggot, and queer. He ate only when his parents weren’t home, since he wasn’t welcomed at family dinners anymore._

_He wore long sleeves and jeans to hide the cuts and bruises at school. Dan isolated himself from others. He barely even spoke at school. Only answering in a quiet voice if called on. The only person he kept ties with was Phil. And that was his lifeline. He was just a depressed sixteen year old boy who had a boyfriend on the other side of England who wanted to protect him from the beatings he received every day, but couldn’t due to the distance._

_He eventually turned to self harm, trying to deal with all of the pain he felt. His father found out. But he laughed and called him a faggot again. Dan stopped trying to be strong. He let himself go. And it was clear to everyone that a broken boy roamed in search of some form of help. A friend to hold him. Someone to stand up for him. A stranger to listen._

_But everyone was afraid. They were afraid to communicate with him. Afraid of what they had heard. So they just watched Dan break a little more each day; watching with pity in their eyes as the boy barely held himself together._

_The worst part for Dan wasn’t the beatings, the bruises, the cuts. Rather, it was watching his brother grow distant. Looking at his brother and seeing a stranger, seeing pain in his face. And Dan looked back at him, with an apologetic expression. He told his brother to stay away. He didn’t deserve to be involved. He had no reason to get hurt, too._

_Though, he told Phil about it every day. And Phil stuck with him. He told Dan that he promised one day he’d come get him. That he’d bring him home with him and he could live there, free from judgement and torment. And Dan would smile at his boyfriend through a poor quality webcam. But Phil insisted that he’d stay with him. He would help him through this._

_And one day, when he was seventeen, Phil showed up at his door. Dan gasped when he saw Phil standing there. He reached forward, yanking him inside and shoving him up the stairs._

_“Are you crazy?” he hissed, shutting his bedroom door._

_“I told you that one day I would come save you,” Phil looked at his boyfriend for the first time in person._

_Dan wanted to cry. He was especially sensitive these days. “You’re going to get yourself killed. I can’t lose you, Phil.”_

_“If I didn’t come soon,_ you _would be killed, Dan.” Phil pushed back some of Dan’s fringe. “What if I can’t lose_ you _?”_

_It was then that the tears finally escaped Dan. It finally hit him on what was happening. Phil reached forward and wiped away a tear, caressing his face as he did so. Dan reached up and grabbed his boyfriend’s hand. His eyes slowly made their way up Phil’s body._

_“This is real,” he whispered, more so to himself than Phil. “This is happening.”_

_Phil nodded. “C’mon, we’ve got to go. Start packing.”_

_“What if my parents-”_

_“Just pack and they won’t be a problem.”_

_Dan grabbed the only suitcase he owned out of his closet. He propped it open on his bed as began throwing things into it; shirts, pants, trousers, socks, little knick knacks he didn’t want to give up, anything that he needed. He put his laptop in last and zipped it up. He turned back to Phil, hugging him for the first time._

_Phil made a noise in surprise. “What are you doing?”_

_“I know that we need to get out of here before my parents get back, but just kiss me. Kiss me so I’ll have at least one good memory here.”_

_Phil hesitated, but cupped Dan’s cheek and pressed his lips on the younger boy’s. It was soft, and gentle. But Dan pulled him in, deepening the kiss. Phil eventually pulled away, resting his forehead on Dan’s for a bit._

_“Please,” Dan looked down to the floor. “Kiss me again.”_

_“We’ve got to go, Dan,” he protested._

_Dan sighed, “I know, just,_ please _.”_

_Phil wanted to refuse, but he couldn’t with the look that Dan was giving him. He made sure to be extra careful, knowing Dan had tons of bruises hidden underneath his clothes. They stood there too long and didn’t have time to react when the door swung open._

_“WHAT IS THIS?” the voice was booming._

_Dan turned, he stood in place, like a deer in headlights. His eyes were wide, his body paralyzed. He knew he was going to be hit, but he didn’t flinch or cringe or hide away like he used to._

_“You brought home another_ faggot _?” his father spat._

_That time, Dan cringed at the word. “He’s not a faggot, nor am I.”_

_“Bullshit.” His father grabbed Phil by the collar. “Why are you in my home, boy?”_

_Phil stuttered, incapable of giving a response. “Sir, I-”_

_“Is this your little boyfriend?” Dan didn’t know how to answer. His father smirked, “so it is. Perfect.”_

_His free hand formed a fist, punching Phil straight in the stomach. Dan screeched. Phil dropped to the floor. He father kicked at his face._

_“NO! STOP!” Dan shrieked._

_He kicked at Phil again, Dan breaking down in tears, yelling through muffled sobs. Words repeated, things like ‘stop, you’re hurting him,’ ‘he hasn’t done anything,’ and ‘I love him.’ But he kept going. Phil was bruised, bloody, and a mixture of blue and purple. Dan’s father raised his foot, ready to stomp down on Phil’s already broken ribs._

 

“NO!” Dan lurched forward, gasping for air, clutching his chest as tears dried on his cheeks.

“Dan?” Phil asked groggily behind him.

He was incapable of answering his boyfriend as his heart was racing and he was still short of breath.

“Dan, look at me.” He whispered. “Please?”

He turned slowly, his eyes never leaving the sheets that he had a firm grip on. Phil placed a finger under his chin, lifting his head. “I’m here, okay?”

Dan then broke down sobbing, he clung onto Phil in fear of losing him. His tears stained the sheets. He mumbled incoherent words, but Phil was able to understand him. His body shook as he recovered from his dream.

“Was it _the dream_?” Phil asked, running his hands through Dan’s hair.

Dan just nodded in response, sniffling quietly. He’s had this recurring dream for years. Ever since the event actually happened. Phil knew how much that hurt Dan.

“Hey, it’s over. I’m here, you’re here. We’re okay. We made it.”

Dan shifted his gaze, tears threatening to spill once more. He was becoming the fragile little teenager he once was. “It was all my fault.”

“ _No_ ,” Phil shot back immediately. “It was not. No part of that was your fault. You couldn’t control what your father did. And guess what? We’re obviously still alive, we got out. I saved you like I promised.”

“If I had just left when you said to the first time,” he whispered. He ran a finger down Phil's jawline, where a thin, white line was. “You wouldn’t have gotten this.”

“What if I like my scar? It shows that we fought to get where we are; that we wouldn’t give up. We succeeded. We fought for our love.”

He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Dan’s forehead. Dan looked up, his eyes glassy. He took a deep breath, his lips forming a thin line, then turning into a slight smile. “I really love you, you know that?”

Phil giggled quietly, “I know. And I’m here to protect you now. So go to back to sleep, it’s late.”

Dan rolled back over, drifting off into dreamland. Phil propped himself up on an elbow, watching Dan’s face. It seemed peaceful, until he started to make small whining noises and wincing in his sleep again. Phil reached over, pulling Dan into his chest. He immediately calmed down in his sleep, nuzzling into Phil.

“I’ll protect you.” He whispered.

 

 

 

 

Also, posted [here](http://toomanyfandoms-somanyfeels.tumblr.com/post/109159783053/ill-protect-you) on tumblr.

 


End file.
